Jack Reese

Jack Reese is the name of a fictional character on Center Stage. He is played by Michael Monahan.

Biography
Jack's life has apparently been filled with misfortune. He has made a number of references to his mother being killed in a freak escalator accident. She had taken Jack to the mall so he could pick out a Christmas present for his grandmother. His father was a preacher who contracted dysentery and died while doing missionary work in Africa. The village elder believed his father was cursed, and so he refused to allow the local medicine man to administer any treatment. At age fifteen, Jack was forcibly sodomized by a homeless man as he was walking home from school. As a result, he claims that he must have his anus routinely stimulated to avoid "complete rectal prolapse". At one point, Jack fell in love with a woman, only to have her dump him for his cousin.

Jack's first job was as a marketing executive for Campbell Soup Company, but he was fired after he created a billboard depicting a cancer patient lying in bed thinking "Should have had a V8". Jack is part owner of a restaurant named "Qweefs".

Personality
Jack is highly passive-aggressive, and has a grossly inflated ego. He frequently refers to himself as a "magnificent son of a bitch" or "glorious bastard", and believes that he is superior to virtually everyone. In eighth grade,his homework assignment was to write a paper about the person he most admired. He wrote it about himself and burned the critiques that his classmates had written about his report because "I've never cared what anyone thinks about my work, and I never will" ("The Waiting and Crying Game")

Jack evidently has an addiction to pornography, frequenting sites such as housewifesluts.com and catholicbitches.net. He has said that porn is the only thing keeping him sane, and at one point he became quite distressed when he discovered that his favorite sites had been blacked out to protest SOPA ("Blackout").

Political Views and Beliefs
While Jack appears tolerant of homosexuality, he frequently makes snide remarks about gay individuals. He has referred to Bebe's gay clients with such epithets as "banana crammer". Some of his more bizarre epithets for homosexuals include "Dixie cup", "pie stuffer", and "candy cane". He also holds a number of generalizations and assumptions about gay individuals, including his belief that all gay men idolize Lady Gaga and Zack Efron, that any gay man is either a hair dresser, flight attendant, nurse, or librarian and that any gay woman is a police officer. He has also expressed his belief that gay men do not make good actors except when it comes to crying. However, there are a number of indications strongly suggesting that Jack possesses homosexual tendencies. On a number of occasions he has taken pleasure in descriptions of homosexual acts.

Jack appears to have been raised Catholic, as he makes a number of references to his time as an alter boy and having been raped by his priest. In one episode, he told Bebe that he used to care about others, "until life raped the humanity out of me. And, by life, I mean my boyhood priest."

Trivia
Once called into a radio station to dedicate the song "I Swear" to himself

Quotes
"Did you hear that? Forcible sodomy has never felt so good"

"You know who does that? Liberals and communists, not that there's much of a difference."

"I was kept awake last night by my neighbors, who were engaged in what was either an intense argument or very violent lovemaking"